Change is Inevitable, but What About When the Change Changes?

Philip is a creature of habit. Yes, I know we all are but he HATES change! Me on the other hand, I like it. I get bored with the same ole same ole. Well today as I was looking forward to change, it all changed. Talk about throwing me for a loop! I sat for a good solid hour just trying to get a grip of how it all came about. , I was so certain that the Lord had saved a house for us in Munford, that house. I just knew it the day we walked in the door to look at it. I felt like the whole time I was walking and looking and dreaming of where we would put our things that God had His arm around me and was walking by my side saying, "See me child, I told you it was all ok. I told you that I loved you. I saved this house just for you." Well, I know that all those statements are true, but evidently not about that house. I felt shattered. Soaking it all in and grasping that I was wrong about that perfect house.

Yes, it was old and needed some updating, but that is what I love to do! The teens wanted a Mountain Dew room. It would have been perfect on that neon green carpet upstairs. Caleb wanted a car room and we we planning how we would decorate it. I had actually convinced Philip to let me keep the pink walls in our room to go with our black/white/gray color theme.Goodness, I even had plans for a garden to grow veggies in.

I know I sound like I am torn up, but oddly, I am ok. It took an hour or two, but I know that there really is a perfect house for my family. It may not be perfect in my eyes, or my kids or my friends, but it will be be perfect in God's eyes because He knows exactly what we need and what house will be a home for us. He knows what home will meet our needs, but also grow us closer to him.

So now I am excited again! Waiting for His house for our family. Still looking each day. Still nervous because we only have 2 weeks to find one and move, but it is a different kind of nervous. It is peaceful. Not sure that I have ever been nervous and peaceful at the same time. God is so good! All the time! Pray with me as we travel to a new destination.

Finished a Chapter and Starting the Next One

You know, there are times and seasons in our lives that we just don't like, not even a little bit. Yes, there are blessings all around us at those times, but for some reason we are too wrapped up in the part we don't like to really enjoy the blessings. Well, in my world, each new year is a new chapter in my life book. The last few chapters have been hard and painful and challenging. Yes, I know that the Lord has worked and is working in each thing and has used and is using it for good in my life, but often, no most of the time, I am too wrapped up in pain, anger, bitterness and fear to care about the good that will come from it all. Well, the last chapter was not one of my favorite parts in my story. However....

I can see lots of god that God has worked in me and my family through the last year. We are closer. We are more humble. We are more at peace. Me personally, I know how to make $1 stretch even farther than I did the year before. I understand more about trusting the Lord to provide. (That is a whole other blog in itself!) I learned that there are people, good people, that go through tougher things than me. I felt the pain of really "needing" something and the relief/peace of God providing it. What a chapter in my life book this past year has been!

But today, I am confident that I began the next chapter! I am hopeful of my future. I am excited about the next steps I will be taking.(Even though they will be tough.) I am peaceful about my finances. I am calm, enough said!

Blogging IS a Good Thing

So last night I created blogs for three of my 6 boys. I have talked about it off and on with my 15 year old, but never for one minute considered it for the 8, 9 and 11 year olds. Yesterday, as I started school back after Christmas break, I was thinking about some changes that I want to make in the way that we school each day. I want my boys narrating back to me what they read. Well, if you know boys, you know that by nature they do not like to write and when they do write it is simple and basic. Narrating was a struggle in our homeschool. Then yesterday it hit me... let them blog their narrations!!! Of course, they can blog about anything else that they want to as well.

At that moment, the blogging journey began. I spent time with each one of them helping them choose colors and fonts and layouts and a title for their blog. They went to bed last night excited about doing their history and science today so they could blog about it. And on that note, they can't remember the word blog. They have called it bloogle, goggle, boogle and several others. That has been entertaining for me today. Can you hear this, "Mom, I finished my book. Can I bloogle now?" Yep, between the 3 of them, I have been laughing all day!

Well anyway, last night my friend Diana sends me a link to get blog layouts. That started a hunt to find a special one for each boy, and you know it had to complement their blog title. I didn't get to bed till 1:30! However, it was well worth it when I showed them their new layouts this morning. It was like Christmas for them.

Each of them has posted 2-3 times today, narrating their history and science selections. I never had to make them read or drag them to the laptop to blog. It was a good day in my homeschool today! My 9 year old even asked if he could blog about stuff that happens in his day too! What a blessing to finally find a key that opens the door for my boys to get information into their minds and from their minds onto paper, or a screen.

Tonight as I blog, I am smiling. :)

Thank You Lord for "New" Days

It is nice to reflect at the end of a day, not always, but today it is. I had a relaxed day. I was blessed in many ways and my mind was able to "rest" for a bit. It was much needed.

I started my day with a sweet good morning phone call from a special friend that gets up and gets going earlier than my brain does. And her children, though I adore them, seemed loud in my only awake for 10 minutes ears. But, it was a blessing, a blessing because I am thankful that this sweet friend and her family are in my life.

My next blessing was that I didn't cook breakfast for my family. Today they ate cereal. My children see cereal as a blessing because we only eat it twice a month and never on a weekday. I was thankful that I didn't have to cook and clean up the kitchen afterwards.

I was then able to enjoy a hot bath without one child interrupting me. (If you are a mother, you know this is very rare!) I soaked until I was a prune - lol.

My next blessing was visiting a homeschool "mentor" friend to borrow a few books and ask a few questions. She is so sweet to share with me and will probably never know what a blessing she is to me.

From there I went to another friend's house and sat and enjoyed 3 hot cups of coffee and talked a lot about kids and husbands and bills and kids and food and decorating and furniture and school and church. We haven't done that in a few months so there was lots to catch up on. It is special when another busy homeschooling mom stops and gives her time to just sit and talk with you.

During the time that I was there, I had another friend text me several times to see if I had heard any news about the job Philip is waiting to hear back from. It comforted me to know that she was praying for my husband.

I finally made it back home around 2:00 and enjoyed a hot bowl of the chicken and dumplings that I cooked the night before - and there was plenty left to feed the entire family lunch. (That NEVER happens!)

At 2:30 Philip and I were blessed with some money to buy groceries! Yes, and the amount was exactly what I spend on a two week grocery shopping trip!

The next blessing was a house that we looked at. It is $325 less a month than what we are paying now and we think the space will fit us nicely. Now to wait on the application approval. (I can handle this one! - With God of course!)

And then a safe trip home in the freezing rain and rush hour traffic.

My blessings continued at home when I cooked a delicious dinner and there was enough leftovers to feed my family dinner tomorrow night too. (Oh, and there is still enough chicken and dumplings left to feed us lunch tomorrow as well!)

So, as I reflect on this day, I KNOW that I am blessed, blessed above and beyond what I deserve. I reflect and I am thankful. I am peaceful. And somehow all that fear about the days ahead, is gone for this moment.

One Month Later...

So here it is, 4 days into the new year. Do I have a plan? Have I started on the right foot? Am I going to make 2009 a great year? My answer is honestly, I Don't Know!

The first of the year for many means new beginnings, another chance, a new start. For me, this year, it means fear. Fear of this year being worse than last year. This year being harder than last year. This year bringing more changes than last year, or worse, no change at all.

So I stare into the next 361 days in fear. Yes, I know that fear is not of the Lord. Yes, I know to trust Him and that ALL things work together for good for those that love the Lord. However, knowing all of that doesn't change the lack of desire that I have in me to not face more pain, to not face more failure and to not face more struggles. I just feel as if I need a year that is quiet, still and peaceful. Not a year that is a mountain, not a year that is a valley, a year that is just a plain with little to no change in the everyday terrain. Sure enough, as those words roll off my fingertips, my heart says "NO!". My heart dos want change, my hearts does want the end result and to see God's miraculous work in my life, my heart does want to touch each blessing that comes before, during and after the painful moments that happen in my life. I just wish, no, pray, that those blessings weren't so challenging to get sometimes.

I am tired. I am weary. I am weak. I am weepy. I just need a rest, a sweet time of rest. Today, tomorrow, next week, next month, till I am stronger.

Yes, I know that life waits for no one, I know that the show must go on, I know that I must play my part each day, no matter how tough it is, no matter how overwhelming it is, no matter what the end of the day brings. And, yes, I MUST PERSEVERE from the end of each trying day to the beginning of each new day.